


Ashes of your memory

by c_cala



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, I feel so bad, POV Krista Lenz | Historia Reiss, Past Krista Lenz | Historia Reiss/Ymir, Romance, Tears, Titan Ymir (Shingeki no Kyojin), What Was I Thinking?, Ymir is a lesbian, YmirxHistoria, i was just sad, im sad thats why, im so sorry, its the middle of the night i should be sleeping, this is just sad yumikuri/yumihisu, why did i do this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-19
Updated: 2021-03-19
Packaged: 2021-03-28 03:47:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30133515
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/c_cala/pseuds/c_cala
Summary: Historia was overwhelmed with all of her responsabilities as queen, so overwhelmed that one day, she passes out in the middle of a corridor. While this happens, she sees the one and only person who could make her smile right now.
Relationships: Krista Lenz | Historia Reiss & Ymir, Krista Lenz | Historia Reiss/Ymir
Comments: 3
Kudos: 18





	Ashes of your memory

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This is my first fic, I love Ymir x Historia and tbh, I was just feeling sad and this is how I cope with pain :)))  
> Even if this is just a product of the endless pain this two make me feel I hope u enjoy it <3 (btw, english is not my first language!)

* * *

Queen Historia was walking down one of the many corridors that the castle had, she just finished her third meeting of the day. Historia always pays attention to the meetings, she is very concerned about all the situations that the citizens, now under her reign, have to deal with and she always makes sure everyone has what they need, that everyone is okay and healthy. She loved her kingdom, Historia was that type of queen. She just didn’t know when to stop, she didn’t have anyone to tell her to take a break. Queen Historia tries to help at everything she can, even if it meant having no sleep somedays and skiping several activities like breakfast or dinner.

But today was different. She couldn´t quite remember what the meeting was about.

And that isn't because she was starting to get sloppy at her obligations as queen, her mind was thinking about something else, someone, to be more specific. While walking, Historia starts to remember her days as a cadet, days she used to spend with her friends, but mostly with her, with the girl that made her happy, with the girl that didn't leave her mind during the entire meeting.

It wasn’t a secret to anyone that when Historia took her place as queen, her smile had been fading with the time. It was more obvious to the cadets from 104th squad that knew her a little more than other people, but even them couldn’t bring Historia’s happiness back, at least, not completely.

She was starting to feel dizzy. Historia was almost at the edge of the next big door that was supposed to conduce her to a royal terrace where her lunch was waiting. And that's where the nights without sleeping and the missed meals caught her.

_"What was her name again?"_

Those were the last words the guards near her heard, before seeing Historia pass out on the floor.

\-----------------------------------------

The slow breeze woke up Historia. When she opened her eyes, she was slowly blinded by the sun and the sound of birds invaded her ears. She couldn't remember when and where it was that she fell asleep, but it seemed like a very calm place. Historia stood up and started to walk throught the beautiful field that she was in and at the sight of no one near her, she let her eyes wonder around the place, while her barefoot, touching the grass, tried to follow. She seemed to be enjoying herself, even if she was still feeling a little dizzy and lost. The more she walked, the more she started to feel the place kind of familiar, it almost felt like...

_"Historia!"_

Huh? What was that sound?

_"Historia! Where are you? Historiaaaaa!"_

Wait, no. It wasn't just a sound, it was more like, a voice. A woman's voice.

_"Historia! There you are, darling."_

A tall woman with freckles stood in front her. She had very short hair that was tied up in a low ponytail and had a concerned gaze while looking at Historia. She also seemed a bit tired. Historia looked at the girl’s hazel eyes, so deep and yet so sweet to look at.   
  


And that’s when she remembered.   
  


_“Y-Ymir...”_

_”Cmon Historia, we have to get inside the house. It seems like it’s gonna rain.”_

Ymir grabbed Historia’s hand carefully, and for the little blonde, it felt like the touch of an angel. A touch she had forgotten how it felt. It seemed impossible how a gentle hand touch between the two of them could wake up so many feelings inside Historia. They kept walking until a wood house appeared in the middle of many very well cared bushes, it was a very lovely house. And Historia noticed that it was their place. Their place...  
  


Historia remembers this girl, not quite exactly, but when the brunette opens the door house for her to enter it, and once inside she kisses her on the lips, a sweet and fast kiss full of love that has been growing for many years, the blonde feels like she’s done this a hundred times. She smiled. And it felt so warming, it almost felt like...

_”Ah! What happened?! Are you okay?! Why aren’t you crying?!”_  
  


Historia heard Ymir’s screams comming from another room, so she ran, very concerned, to where the screams were from, only to find Ymir holding a tiny baby while freaking out, checking the baby desperately to see if they were hurt. 

And that’s when Historia remembers another important detail: she had adopted a baby. With Ymir.   
  


When Historia was still a child, she knew that something called orphanage existed, that it was a place where children who had no parents due to different reasons were waiting for someone to adopt them and be a part of a family. Historia always thought about how some of the children that lived there never got a chance to experience love, just how she didn’t get a lot from her own mother. So, she promised herself that when she grew up, she was going to make at least one of those kids happy.   
  


She just never thought that she was going to share parenthood with the freckled one.   
  


_“Ymir, what happened?”_  
  


_“I found the baby on the floor, but they weren’t crying. Before I started to look for you, I left them at their bed. Shit, I must have left the bed without the baby proof protection. Fuck!”_  
  


_“Hey, language! Don’t worry Ymir, they seem to be okay, hand them over, I wanna hold our baby.”_

_”Here. I’m sorry, I’m sorry I know I should be more careful I’m so sorry I”_

_“And I thought I was going to be the overprotective mother. Relax Ymir, everything’s okay, come here.”_

And like she has done this a hundred times, Ymir approached to Historia from behind and hugged her while playing with their baby’s hands. Ymir left a kissed on the blonde’s cheek.

According to Historia’s brain and memory, this is the first time they do this, but her body and her feelings are telling her otherwise. The movements, Ymir’s touch, the smell of their baby, the lovely lullaby that was leaving her mouth at the moment, it seemed like this was already something she has known for years, maybe decades.   
  


_“You always know how to handle this situation, Historia. I will never be a good mother, not like you.”_

_“Ymir, the fact that you are here, being concerned and helping me with our child, already says a lot. You are and will be and incredible mother.”_  
  


This words, the constant comfort, the kisses on her cheek that are left by the brunette in a certain and specific way... Historia knows this feeling. 

_“How am I married to such an amazing woman?”_  
  


_“What was that?”_  
  


That lovely tone of voice, Ymir’s hands touching hers. The baby starting to give little snores. Their wedding rings touching each other. Historia knows this feeling, she knows it. It almost felt like...

_“Historia...”_

Hold on, she knows this. It almost felt like...

_”Historia, I love you.”_  
  


Ymir telling her she loves her. Historia felt a huge smile placing in her lips. She was feeling so happy right now. It almost felt like...

_”I love you too, Ymir.”_   
  


It almost felt like...

———————————————————  
  


_**“Home.”** _

_”Queen Historia? Your majesty, did you say something? Can you hear me?”_  
  


Wait, what...

_”I’m sorry, you called me, your majesty?”_ Historia was feeling weak.

_”Oh queen, I’m so glad you finally woke up!”_   
  


No... This, no. It can’t be happening...

But there she was. At a big room with a bunch of doctors taking care of her previously unconscious body, with guards around them. She looked to her right, and there it was. She saw her crown. She was the lonely Queen Historia.

_“Queen Historia, as your personal doctor it’s my duty to tell you, respectfully, that you aren’t being careful enough at your eating and sleeping. Your majesty, you should...”_

But Historia had stopped listening to the doctor. Historia didn’t hear anything. She was lost in time. She was trying to find her freckled lover’s voice inside her memories. She was looking for the voice from that cadet that made her days better, that cadet that made her smile.   
  


~~_“Historia, I love you.”_ ~~  
  
  


She heard it. 

_“Ymir?!”_

  
Everybody in the room heard her. Historia’s eyes started to get a bit wet. 

_“What? Your majesty, are you feeling okay?”_

The doctors voice brought Historia, sorry, Queen Historia back to reality. A reality where Ymir, where her home, was dead.   
  
  


She lost her.   
  
  


Historia now can only make sure to never again forget the name of the eternal love of her life, Ymir’s name. She will remember her until her last breath. 

She will love Ymir forever, with her entire heart, until her last breath. 

**Author's Note:**

> I might have or haven’t cried while writing this. I’m so sorry.


End file.
